Category Archives: Obsessive Compulsive Running…….

Obsessive Compulsive Running……. – A new way of thinking…..

I walked out of the therapy session today feeling a completely different person to the one who tentatively went in there more than four months ago.

I’m not saying it’s suddenly made everything brilliant, or altered the state of my life, but I feel I’m able to react to and deal with things, especially what “I” perceive as problems, in a different way.

So much is about perception, isn’t it. Previously, I perceived asking someone for directions as a problem. But how many of you do the same? We all have different issues with aspects of life, that are peculiar to us, because of our experience and pre-conceptions.

I’m getting all philosophical again – time to move on!

Just before doing so, I’d like to say a big THANK YOU for all the positive feedback and messages everyone has left or sent. They’ve really meant a lot to me.

And an even bigger THANK YOU to my brilliant therapist, who I was so lucky to be assigned to through the local NHS anxiety service. With her detailed knowledge she diagnosed my problems immediately, expertly guided me through sometimes difficult sessions, and left me with insight to help me move forward.

I’ve also been fortunate to get a place on a Mindfulness course, which I hope will teach me to switch off from the hamster wheel more often.

It’s all a combination of having the right tools and knowing how to use them. . .

Without the right tools that work, you can’t make progress, however hard you try. But sometimes the answer is staring you right in the face, and you can’t see it until someone else points it out.

Read the rest of the story! Visit A new way of thinking….. | Obsessive Compulsive Running…….

Obsessive Compulsive Running……. – Publish and be damned!

The CBT – that’s Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – I’ve been having in recent months is all about facing up to your fears, challenging your demons, doing something that in your wildest dreams you wouldn’t have considered previously.

Writing this is actually acting out a part of my nightmare. Just as posting my blog every week is scary: I worry how people will interpret it, what will they think, will they even give a damn, does it matter either way? You’re showing a part of who you are, what makes you tick, allowing people to see you, flaws, vulnerabilities and all.

Someone said to me this week how dangerous they thought it was, writing a blog, and how pointless. They thought the whole concept totally exposing and open to abuse by others without any gain or worthwhile reason for doing so.

Well I’d say two things to that. How people interpret whatever they read and what they do with the information or narrative is entirely down to them, not me. In reverse, it’s just the same as when I receive feedback, good, bad – or frankly, mostly indifferent – I interpret it from my own perspective and consider how to respond.

As to the pointlessness of it all, well whenever you start something new and untried it’s often hard to see the bigger picture, where it’s all going, what, if anything, will it lead to? Do you put down your brush and think, I’ll just stop now then, or do you add a bit more to the canvas, keep painting?

Read the rest of the story! Visit Publish and be damned! | Obsessive Compulsive Running…….

Obsessive Compulsive Running……. – Halfway!

I don’t really see myself as a committed runner, and certainly not an athlete by any stretch of the imagination. I’m just an old plodder who likes the thinking time and free space you can lose yourself in on a long distance run.

Running helps me escape the hamster wheel of thoughts and images whirring all the time inside my head – questioning, checking, trying to make sense of the crazy internal kaleidoscope.

I’ve always thought I was a bit mad, a bit weird, a bit different. Sentiments, that my non-running friends in particular have used to describe me many times.

Recently I’ve discovered that yes, whilst I am a bit different to many people, I’m not totally alone in the way I interpret things. I’ve recently been diagnosed with OCD – Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – a mental health condition that affects around two in a hundred people.

It was quite a shock – even after years of sometimes desperate deep despair – to learn I had something identifiable. Something specific. Something with real symptoms which I experience in my daily life.

What’s encouraging though, has been finding out that it can be treated. In fact, I am currently in therapy and it’s already helping.

Read the rest of the story! Visit Halfway! | Obsessive Compulsive Running……. Halfway! | Obsessive Compulsive Running…….

Obsessive Compulsive Running…….

You think you’ve got things sorted – you’re managing it all OK. But then you go and crash again, because of work and life triggers – same old, same old.

But now, pay attention. This is the most important part.

This time, instead of covering up all those insecurities, the ones you feel are just “you” and make you weird and bad. This time, you go and talk to someone – a therapist – who helps you make sense of it all.

You discover you’re not alone, that other people think a bit like you – that you have something called OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It’s hard to believe, I know, you not being house proud and all, but that isn’t always the case. Anyway REALLY, you do have OCD, and that’s largely why you are the way you are.

Read the post in its entirety!  Visit Letter to my younger self – my blog for mental health 2014 | Obsessive Compulsive Running…….

Trigger warning: Suicidal ideation