Other times, writing only helped her to keep from crying, drinking, puking or whatever else she could do to punish herself for not being what she or others wanted her to be, consciously or not. . .
She hasn’t posted much recently about how she has really been feeling. A few things here and there, but nothing too detailed. It isn’t because she is all better, cured or doing just fine.
Instead, she has started to have trouble finding the words to explain where she is and what she is feeling. Where being rambling and disjointed in her posts never bothered her before, it does now when it comes to the “important” issues. Rather than frustrate herself further by her inability to effectively express herself about something so serious, she just continues to prattle on in this space. Posts here and there, comments everywhere.
Soon, she will be back to using this space to discuss those important life and health subjects, interspersed with the usual discussion of superheroes, music, and silly things. Writer’s block, even when caused by mental health issues, won’t stick around forever. She will be OK until then, because she is here at least. Because no matter what happens, or who reads or comments, this is her space to talk.
Here, with the words she has written before and the ones you have written back, she is surrounded by her friends. She’s found that she is not alone, that there is help, that others do care without keeping score or expecting something in return. Diligence is important, but trust is easier for her to give now than before.
Read more of Sheena’s story. Visit Blogging While Depressed, Tired and Bulimic | Not A Punk Rocker.