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Purple Headspace

Anyway, that depression stayed through my teens. As an adult I never realised how much schooling I’d missed till my mum died and I found a school report saying they couldn’t comment on me as I hadn’t been there very much. At this point I was running to social services a few times to ask for help, even to a friends parents to ask if I could live there. I was desperate for help but none of these alarm bells rang loud enough it seems. They’d send for my mum and I’d get hell when I got home. So I stopped asking for help.

Ironically I was in my 20’s before I left home – I had learnt to cope through drinking with friends, work, staying out late, risky behaviour when boyfriends and pretty much anyone who would give me a bed for the night. I’d sleep on floors of random workmates houses after we’d all been out drinking all night. All this stuff just made me looked troubled I’d guess but now I can see patterns of behaviour through it all. I can see depression on and off all my life, recall walking down the street and musing about killing myself, or dying, or jumping in front of the lorry coming toward me. I’d tell myself to be patient one day it’ll be better, but I never made that break.

Read the post in its entirety! Visit Blogging for Mental Health | Purple Headspace.

Trigger Warning: Suicide

Share My Purpose

I blog for mental health because I want to see a change for the sake of others. While I may have my own mental health complications, I have seen the struggle for many of those around me. I want a better life for them. I want them to know that I accept them and that hopefully one day everyone can too. Together I believe we can make strides to erase the stigma of mental health and truly impact our society. This Blog for Mental Health 2014 initiative is truly inspiring and I love what they support.

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A blog about living well and successful today

My “mental state” has always been suspect (if you will allow me) since my parents divorced when I was very young. I have been and grew up being an angry young man, and but for the grace and prayers of my family I might not have survived through my teenage years. Because I was angry at my parents and at the world in general, I couldn’t or wouldn’t see my problem and I didn’t for a very long, long time.

All through 2013 I struggled with my state of mind because it seemed to point back to the fact that I couldn’t work and because I really didn’t know or understand what was happening to me. Why was I feeling this way? Only recently, within the past six weeks, have I finally come to understand that my mental state…my depression was at the root of my biggest problem. It was not my inner ear balance which was causing my anger and frustration, it was my “inner mind”.

Read the post in its entirety! Visit My mentality | A blog about living well and successful today.

Unravelling The Knots

At the moment I am going through a huge shift of some sort and am battling with pretty much all of the above. I feel like a total nut case but “one day at a time” is my current motto. I am also seeing the same therapist that I have been seeing since I was first diagnosed as well as undergoing hypnotherapy for anxiety and learning to find myself through Yoga.

So here I pledge to continue writing about my experiences, good or bad, to encourage others to fight, to bring awareness to the incredible amount of people who are quietly suffering every day and to be one amongst many who are trying to defeat their demons.

We all have a story and this is mine.

Read the post in its entirety! Visit Blog For Mental Health | Unravelling The Knots.

pennyinsane

The feedback was fantastic. People admitting they had no idea how bad things were, more admitting their own experiences with mental health problems and medications. People that knew people, etc. suddenly here I was admitting the bare uncomfortable truth, I could hardly do my kids laundry, get up in the morning, do the school run, everything was a struggle, it even hurt to breathe. Even the one that seems on the surface to have it all, that seems to be so strong and so confident, is a second from breaking.

My sordid affair with mental (un)health has been going on for a long time. . .

What I have come to learn is that no one can fully appreciate how exhausting this life is. It is a constant battle with yourself, with these demons. I need pills to get me through the days. I’m both grateful yet saddened at this reality. I should like to have a day with common anxieties. Rather than my brain turning everything into a Shakespearean tradegy, complete with paranoia and dramatic failure thrown in.

Read the post in its entirety! Visit Blog for mental health 2014 | pennyinsane.