There really is a fear to getting better. I want so badly to make progress but I don’t want anything to be expected from me because there’s a 65% chance I’ll disappoint you. My health, both physical and mental, are truly handicaps. I’m embarrassed to admit it because I wish I could be stronger, but I’m not. For a really long time it felt like no one believed me either and so it only makes the way I feel even worse. I feel looked down on. As if maybe I was too quick to say that there’s something wrong with me or that I’m just being over the top dramatic. I don’t know what else to say except, my life is dramatic. Let me tell you the story of my life and you’ll think I belong in a Spanish Novela. I only know this because that is exactly the kind of comments I’ve gotten when I tell people about myself, my life, or just what’s going on lately.
That’s not to say that I have a “bad” life – because I don’t. It’s just dramatic and really pulls at my emotions. As would anyone’s life, but the difference is that my coping skills aren’t very good. People think they are. I’ve had one close teacher tell me that I remain positive despite what I go through, while other students complain over trivial things. Maybe it’s because I’ve been sitting in class thinking that my own problems are trivial, everyone has the same battle of the mind as me, and it could be worse for someone else.
Read the rest of the post in its entirety! Visit Hello, My Name is Ketta Jeanette – Emotional Conundrum.
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